last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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