And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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