Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize