Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
