I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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