Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
