I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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