her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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