I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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