sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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