Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
