it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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