I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
