He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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