Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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