I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this will be a night to untag.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
