So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
