I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
