I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
