ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
