dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't EVER smell your tampon
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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