so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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