We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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