please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize