My hand turned me down
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
