Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
