first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
