People in love make me want to vomit
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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