I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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