Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
