just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
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You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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