I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Someone signed my nipple.
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