I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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