White coat. Heels.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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