Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
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it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex