woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.