I'm laying in your front yard are you home
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS