ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.