IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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