Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
