so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize