I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
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It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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