My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
There's even glitter on my cock...
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