Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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