did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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