I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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