she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
