He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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