My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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