Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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