I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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