woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
