Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
