he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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