My first STD was from a foam party
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
