apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
