Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
