She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Barsexuality is the new black.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
