I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
