should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
